Sunday, September 25, 2011

One day I'll wish I could have these days back

It's hilarious how overwhelming moments can be and then they're so quickly gone.

Little Man has seemed to work his way out of screaming himself to sleep. I can say that it has made my life much easier because while I knew we needed to go through it, my entire body ached and sometimes trembled while I listened to him scream. For awhile I thought he might be getting confused when I'd hold him during the day for his naps and make him go to sleep on his own at night. I think I was right. Today is day three of having him go to sleep on his own during the day as well and it has made all the difference. Very little crying at all. I'm not sure if there was even a total of two minutes of crying for all three times I put him down! I miss holding him and watching him go to sleep. After feeling worn out from the day, it give me quiet time to breathe and relax that I didn't feel guilty for taking.

With the change in seasons coming I'm going through the kid's clothes. I can barely keep up with clothes for Little Man as he is already moving into 9 and 12 months clothes. Sweet One isn't growing out of her hers that quickly but there are some 24 mth clothes that are finally a little small on her. After all, she is almost 33 months now! I'm a little emotional as I pack up some of their clothes knowing that any child of mine will never again be this little.

Right now I'm trying to have a few minutes to write these thoughts out hoping to clear my mind a bit. The day goes by and it is one nap after another as Little Man's two naps are on either side off Sweet One's one. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by this as I do not have even five to ten minutes of kid-free time for myself. Big Love is a great help in the morning but really, I'm just trying to get myself functioning so he can get to work. After an interrupted night's sleep it isn't always easy. Today as I was telling him how draining it feels to have our days defined by naps, he said that it won't always be like this. I know there will be the day I wish I could have them both napping and playing right by my side.

"I need my mum-mum," I hear as Sweet One is obviously having a difficult moment. I'll go to her and hold her. Because one of these days I may only hear that over the phone, if I'm that lucky.

I walked into the bathroom. Sweet One was on one end of the room and Big Love was on the other. She didn't want him to do anything to help her get ready for bed. (Usually he does most of it because I've been taking care of Little Man.) She hadn't even let him put her lotion on and so as I made my way to the floor I started rubbing her back with her lotion. "That feels good!" she said with a smile that took over her entire face and planted a huge kiss on me. If that isn't enough to make this all worth it, I'm not sure what is.

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