Two Zippered Pouches: One for an Innotab2 and one for food

In six sleeps we will wake up earlier than the sun and hopefully be out our door, on the road to the airport, by about 6:30. We have a nearly two hour drive to the airport then we hop on our first flight that will take us to Washington. Then the fun beings as we board plane #2 and arrive in Seattle, WA 6 hours later. We'll grab a hotel and then be on the Clipper the next morning. 

I'm not really looking forward to this trip. I'm worried that I won't get any sleep and I'll get glared down by my MIL more times than I'm comfortable with. On the other side of that, I'm hoping I'll grow up enough to just let go without putting negative expectations on it and try to enjoy myself while my kids get to spend some time with their grandparents and aunt and uncle. Sweet One is absolutely, completely excited about this trip. Yesterday after Preschool her teacher told me she was a little out of sorts because she was so excited. This is the first time we've ever been told she was out of sorts by her teacher.

So for the past few weeks I've been trying to figure out a way to keep our packing as minimal as possible. Since we need to hop on public transit to get to the hotel we are hoping to only take one real suitcase, a purse and bag for me and one backpack per kid.

In terms of entertaining the kids, I have loaded up a number of movies onto a couple of SD cards so that they can watch them with Sweet One's Innotab2. The fact that I can use an SD was one reason I chose it over its competitor. She got it from her grandparents for Christmas and I'm hoping it will save our sanity this trip. One problem in terms of trying to pack light is that the case I bought for it is rather large and would take up pretty much her whole backpack. So I searched and found this tutorial at So Sew Something! and figured that I could add a few pockets and padding to make it work for the Innotab2.

I'm using a 12" zipper and have cut my main pieces at 10" x 11". The smaller purple pieces are for the pockets and they are 2.75" x 6". The large purple pieces have a piece of fusible fleece attached to the back as do 2 of the 4 smaller purple pieces.

                                 

To make the pockets I took one piece with fleece and one without, put the right sides together and sewed around 3 sides. Then I flipped them right side out, turned in the bottom edges and sewed it up shut.

Then I eyeballed it and sewed one pocket on each piece of the lining fabric. (My thinking was that the pockets would be opposite each other and then hopefully the Innotab2 would sit in between them somewhat.)

From this point on I just did as the tutorial at So Sew Something! instructed and it came together very quickly.

It ended up a little wider than it needed to but it is not nearly as thick as the other case. Sweet One will love it because I made it out of her "absolutely favorite colors!" (Anyone else's kid in love with Charlie and Lola?) The pockets each hold two game cartridges and slide in very nicely. While we can't reach down into them to get the bottom cartridge, they slide out very easily by placing a finger at the bottom of the cartrdige and pushing it up and out.

 A few days ago I had actually made one other pouch with the same tutorial. Before putting it together, I basted on a piece of Insul-Bright to each of the outer fabric pieces. Then I continued on as the tutorial told me to and I now have a pouch that will keep some portable yogurt and cheese sticks cool since we'll be in the air for both lunch and supper!

In the end, if all my efforts to entertain the kids and keep them fed still leaves them with the urge to scream at the top of their lungs for much too long, I'll never have to see anybody on the plane again! And I've also heard that it goes a long way to buy the person in front of us a drink or snack pack if our kids are kicking their seats a bit too much.

Our skies were blue

The weather ended up absolutely gorgeous and we were able to spend so much time outside! Sweet One absolutely loved going fishing - with a stick and a piece of red yarn tied to the end. (This is how Big Love learned to fish and I call it "fishing with no hope in hell of catching anything".) She also loved running around to her heart's desire!

While I will have many memories of walking outside with the kids, I will also remember how much I loved the quiet. I used to find silence hard to handle for too long but this time around I loved it. It seemed to recharge me. While Little Man slept in the morning, Big Love and Sweet One went on adventures as I read a magazine and drank my Americano. With no chores looming I felt like I could truly turn off my brain and not worry about a thing! There was more quiet as the kids napped in the afternoon (although Little Man had troubles sleeping at this time of day).

Big Love and I filled our short time between the kids going down and us going to sleep with conversation. Usually we fill it with tv shows so it was nice to realize that we can still carry on a conversation between the two of us for more than five minutes! As long as the conversation didn't require me to speak as I was counting the stitches in Little Man's blanket it was nice to reconnect!

Something that really surprised me was my own energy levels during our time at the park. While I was getting woken up two to four times a night, I was get out of bed much earlier and didn't feel like crap all day. I don't fully understand this and hoped that perhaps I could carry it on once I got home (I usually go back to bed until around 8 while Big Love watches the kids so I can catch up on some of the lost zzz's). Big Love reminded me that someone once told me that this town has a lower energy than others. I'm interested in learning more about why this is (and what it is) but at this point all I know is that it does affect me. We've noticed this on other trips as well. (Quite a princess I can be!)

As we drove home it didn't take long to realize that during our time away we had missed out on gray, drizzly skies. In the end, it was a great trip. We did have cheesecake, but it was just from the freezer section of the fabulous Target we stopped at on the way. It had a St. Arbucks inside! That's definitely my kind of combination! AND I finally managed to get to a Sonic Drive-In! I've wanted to go to one of those since we first crossed the border 5 years and 3 months ago! I had no idea there was one by the Target and so within two hours of being away from home I felt like I already had a great trip!

Because it made me chuckle

We needed to figure out our route to the USCIS office and so I sent him to the car to retrieve the map. Returning very quickly and empty handed he says, "There's a large animal out there! I heard it walking." And these are the pictures I had to take!

One vacation a year, and it looks like shitty skies

Sadly, it has been a year since I've posted about vacations and that is because we haven't gone anywhere since. Tomorrow we will be leaving for the same state park as last year, sans cheesecake and I am having a few troubles finding any optimism for our stay. The weather will be similar. Drizzly days that are not very warm. Yes, I know that packing up and going to a cabin in October means taking a risk that the weather will suck ass, but last week at it was magnificent! We will be staying one day less than last year but that is probably better since we have a wee baby with us. (Then again, he's not so wee as he weighed in at 18lbs 9oz on Tuesday. I've now started calling him my little moose!)

In anticipation of crappy weather and being stuck in a cabin far too long I just finished making some supplies to keep Sweet One as demonstrative of her name as possible.

A play-dough recipe from my mom that never seems to have enough flour so I need to almost double it.

and some noodles soaked in rubbing alcohol (the fumes almost got a little too fun!) and food coloring that she can string onto yarn.

On the way home we have to stop in the nearby big city to give USCIS our fingerprints. (We've only been waiting for these appointments since the end of June!) I am hoping to be cleaned up and out the cabin door early so we can stop for breakfast and then get to either the Zoo or a Children's Museum. Again, weather permitting but I'm REALLY hoping we can do the Zoo because they have three different types of penguins and Sweet One is in love with penguins these days!

Maybe I'll be lucky and the weather will change bringing us brilliant skies and lots of outdoor adventures. But if it doesn't, wish me luck!

Cold and Drizzly with a hint of cheesecake

We went to Keystone State Park on Monday and returned Friday. It's a great time of year to rent their modern cabins (or in any Pennsylvania State Park for that matter) because during the week they're freakin' cheap! One thing that can suck at this time of year is the weather.

We drove in drizzle and rain all the way, stopping in a city to get some supplies from Trader Joe's. After I rocked Sweet One to sleep (we had some sleeping issues while we were there), I found the silence from lack of computer and/or TV staggering. At the same time, I knew it would be good for me and my tendency to turn on the boob tube and disappear for an hour or so. Tuesday and Wednesday were also cold and drizzly. We were so desperate to get out of the cabin to entertain Sweet One that we hopped in the car Wednesday morning and went to the nearby Walmart!

Luckily we woke to blue skies and sun Thursday morning or I might have lost my mind. We went hiking and Sweet One climbed the trails to 250 feet higher in altitude than where we began. After this she made me carry her all the way down - Daddy could not help! - and proceeded to do everything in her power to fall asleep. I was successful and kept her awake but it did take some juggling! In the afternoon we went to the lakeshore and Sweet One filled as much time as she could throwing rocks into the lake. It was amazing how much she liked that.

Our moments of luxury were went Big Love and I ate one piece of cheesecake every night. Thanks to Trader Joe's and their Chocolate Dilemma we had a different flavor every night! My god was that cheesecake much better than we had anticipated.

Leaving Friday was bittersweet as the sun was out even stronger than Thursday but this body could not handle another night on that bed. It was wonderful to get away from everything and despite the shitty weather we're glad we went.

On Monday we go and sign the papers on our 2010 Rav4 that we ended up buying a month earlier than we expected because of a low interest rate. After stuffing our civic as full as we possibly could we know it is time to trade it in for something more spacious as our family gets bigger.

The perfect mini vacation

All summer we have wanted to take Sweet One up to the nearest Great Lake to go swimming but every time it was hot enough we figured that it would be too crowded. Today, however, we thought would be different since it was the first day of school. I'm so glad we did.

Despite the strong waves coming into shore, Sweet One managed to play and dance on the wet sand and then venture into the water with us from time to time. It completely killed the sweltering heat that we have been having for the passed few days. Sweet One wasn't afraid of the water at all. I was surprised at how difficult it was for her to walk on the sand - I definitely didn't expect that!.

It was truly a mini-vacation and by the end of it Big Love hardly remembered even being at work today! We finished it up with Tim Horton's chili and McDonald's fries in the car on the way home and then stopped at a local ice cream place to sit on their patio and eat some tasty ice cream. (Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures because the batteries died as soon as we got there. I hate our camera. The batteries die constantly and it takes forever to get ready to take the next shot after one has been taken. Oh how I wish I could get a new, more reliable one!)

How do you camp?

I grew up going camping for holidays and even though I complained as I got older, I still loved it. We don't have a lot of cash for our summer vacation this year, since we went to New Orleans, and I'm wondering about camping. How do you find a good location? Are State Parks the way to go just like Provincial Parks are in Canada? Has anyone camped with a 17 month (probably 18 months by the time we go) child and have pointers? Should I avoid the tent and get a cabin?

Luckily, I'll be able to do a lot of my internet searching in front of the tv once my netbook arrives!

And on the third day, I felt like a teenager (just for a moment)

The third day we let Sweet One have her nap again in the morning. Trying to keep her quiet and content in the hotel room until it was nap time began to get very difficult. She screamed just for the hell of it on a regular basis and there was no way for us to stop her from doing this. As soon as her stroller was getting pulled out of the closet she got excited and then we were off!As long as we were moving, Sweet One didn't care what we did. We didn't return to our hotel room until about 7 hours after we left. The streets in the French Quarter are lined with such interesting buildings. I absolutely love the balconies. One building had a sign that said it was the site where slaves were bought and so. Definitely hard to imagine as we peered through the glass to see nothing that would ever corroborate that. We watched a few travel DVDs before leaving and learned that a lot of the homes in the French Quarter would have housed the mistresses of the rich men and these mistresses were often black slaves who would have their own slaves. Hard to believe that such a hierarchy existed in this part of history. I can not fathom it.
Later in the afternoon, after eating crayfish and alligator outisde at The Market Cafe while listening to live jazz, we spent some more time in Jackson Square. Sweet One let me hold her while we danced a bit to this Dixieland Jazz Brass Band. They were freakin' awesome. I loved it. I think Sweet One got a little overwhelmed by the noise and so we left but I would have stayed there all afternoon.
In this picture you can see Sweet One beside her stroller. In the cup holder is my 20oz hurricane. According to the bar tender, it contained fruit punch, rum, rum and more rum and came out of a slurpee machine, premixed! I also got a free shooter of Sex on the Beach. This was the strangest feeling ever. I do not remember the last time I had a shot and the last time I was drinking a slurpee with liquor in it did not end well. I felt like a teenager again and then I looked at Sweet One. Lukcily, this afternoon ended well. We searched as much of the French Quarter as we could for pecan pie but couldn't find any, settled for Gelato and then made our way back to the hotel.

The last two days in New Orleans were just what I had hoped the trip would be. I am so glad that we got to go there and see a city that is truly unlike any we've seen before.

Day 2, or the day I found a friend

Our second day in New Orleans was dramatically better than our first. We decided that, since Nola likes to sleep in, we would stay in our hotel room until after Sweet One had her first nap and this made such a huge difference. She slept for 1h20 and awoke in much better spirits than most of the previous day. (I think this helped her nap better later on in the day as well.)

We decided to hop aboard the St. Charles street car and go to the Garden District. Standing in line, Big Love was a little concerned that we might not get onto the first car as it looked packed but it wasn't as bad as it looked. I ended up with Sweet One in my lap sitting next to a young woman. (I thought she was a college student.) Sweet One reached out to her and she smiled. "Wow! She never reaches out to people she doesn't know." Sweet One continued to entertain the gaggle of tourists we were sitting among with her smiles and silly sounds. Usually I get nervous initiating any degree of conversation with a stranger beside me but since Sweet One had made the first move, I asked the young woman if she was 'from here'. She said no and that she was in fact from LA.

When we got off the street car, we crossed the street as the rest of the tourists were (we had completely forgotten to take our guidebook on this entire trip). The young woman I had been sitting beside was on the other side of the street but then she quickly came across since that's where the rest of us had gone. "I guess I went the wrong way!" she said. (She was wearing very nice books with a pointy toe and a moderate heel - just like I hope to have one day.) Then she asked if Big Love and I would mind if she joined us, "so I don't get kidnapped since I'm all alone."

We spent a couple of hours walking around the Garden District and I was amazed at how easy it was for me and this young woman to chat the entire time. Usually I have moments of awkwardness where I don't really know what to say around someone I don't know. I learned that her husband has the same name as mine, she has a degree in criminology and now works in pest control, loves going to estate sales and is 10 weeks pregnant. Her mouth dropped when she found out I was just about 32 years old and I was equally surprised to learn that she was 27. It felt so nice to have a young woman to talk to, especially one who I seemed to have a lot in common with. Even Big Love said we seemed to have a bit of a connection.

When we returned to the French Quarter, Big Love, Sweet One and I went to a restaurant this young woman had recommended and had our first good meal since we arrived. Even Sweet One ate a surprising amount of fries considering she hadn't eat much at all since we left two days ago. When we left our hotel room that morning I anticipated the amazing houses in the Garden District to be the highlight of my day, but in the end it ended up being a conversation with a complete stranger!

First day in New Orleans

After a tiring day of travelling, our first day in the New Orleans area ended up a difficult one. With Sweet One as our alarm clock, we woke up early. I naively thought that Sweet One may have some good naps in her stroller througout the day and therefore leave us with the freedom to wander around, check out the market and enjoy our time. I was somewhat wrong. We were out and about so early that we had our choice of tables at Cafe du Monde! Luckily I enjoyed that because it was the only meal that was any good our first day.

Sweet One has never been a good "on the go" napper and this trip reminded me of that. She ended up quite cranky throughout our first day and by the end of it I was exhausted, in tears and ready to go home. So far, the trip wasn't anything as I had expected. With us getting up so early, and still on EST, our early morning site seeing was a bit of a waste of time because this city doesn't wake up early - probably due to the late night culture it has! We should have stayed in the hotel room and let Sweet One get one good nap during the day.

One of the main things we wanted to do on this trip was see a plantation. I had spent a lot of time figuring out which one we should see, even saw a DVD about it prior to leaving. I anticipated that it would be a highlight of our trip. The one we saw was a Creole plantation rather than the typical antebellum ones in the area. While it was not huge in grandeur, it was consider very typical. The depth of knowledge that the guide (also the owner) had about this place was amazing. There are 5000 pages written about life on this plantation by a young woman who lived there. The stories, and the guide's delivery, about how the business and family were run was amazing. In the end, our guide pointed out that running a plantation not only dehumanized the slaves that worked it, but also the president (the woman who ran it - this particular plantation was always run by women) because of what was required of her.

This is the only plantation in the area that does not ignore the history of slavery. These slave cabins held two families and believe it or not, people lived in the cabins until 1977! I can not fathom it.

While I felt like the stories were rich and the guide was very skilled in his storytelling, I did leave this plantation on a sour note. For the most part, Sweet One wanted to run around and so we let her. She is much quieter if she can move around than if I am forcing her to stay in my arms! Big Love and I followed behind the group so that her noise would not bother anyone - we took turns listening to the tour but it was warm outside and I wasn't sure if we'd make it! At one point the guide came up to me and told me not to get too far behind because he didn't want me to miss what he was saying. I thought that was very kind of him and felt a little better about being there. Once we got into the house Sweet One settled down and wasn't making much noise at all. She seemed very content in my arms and so I joined the group and enjoyed being able to hear more of the tour.

I find it hard to believe that a parent in such a situation would ever not be completely sensitive to how much noise their child is making. Countless times when I've been worried about her noise, I've been told that parents always think their children are noisier than they really are. After three or four short vocalizations I was asked to leave the room. I immediately felt sick to my stomach. The way our guide asked to "take the baby out of the room" was blunt and rude. I honestly did not think that her sounds merited this - we paid our tour fees just as anyone else did. At one point during the tour he spoke of how the President who ran the plantation said that she was God - maybe the current owner has adopted that attitude as well! "Do not make noise while God is talking!"

All in all we learned a good lesson our first day in New Orleans. We needed to change our expectations of how we would enjoy this vacation and that Southern Hospitality doesn't always extend to parents with small children when visiting a plantation.

New Orleans, here I come!

In two weeks from tomorrow we will be hopping a plane and going to New Orleans. It is a place I've always thought would be amazing to see. Thanks to credit card rewards points and a very cheap hotel rate, we will arrive there on a Monday and leave on a Friday. I am so excited and hoping so much that this is one of those vacations that go down in the history books. We're thinking of going on a Plantation tour and other than that we don't have any specific plans other than to find some good food at a good price and to see what there is to see.

Have you ever been to the Big Easy and have any suggestions? We did receive some suggestions of places to eat but they aren't quite in our price range. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Cafe et chocolat dans la ville

Despite all of my fears, and the fact that I had an anxiety cry as we drove away from our house, the trip to Montreal will go down in the memory books. I've never been good at staying present in the moment. The Power of Now was fleeting even though I knew how important it would be for me and the way my mind works. Never did I imagine that my daughter would be my guru. Yes she cried herself to sleep for an hour when we got to the hotel (unheard of in her world!) but after that she was amazing. Once in the thick of it, everything went as smoothly as it could. She was incredibly sleep deprived but never once had a fit or became fussy for more than a few minutes. I do not know what I did to deserve such a wonderful child but I am thankful every day. (One woman on the train told me not to expect the next one to be so good natured and I dislike the logic of these comments so much that I simply said - I had a scary third trimester and my friend told me that is why I have such a wonderful baby.)

Spending time with my friend in Montreal sustains me. Conversations with her help me figure out what it means to be a woman and I always feel like a better person for knowing her. It was wonderful to watch her and her husband enjoying time with Sweet One - I am happy that Sweet One has them in her life. It is almost insane that both of us moved so far away from 'home' but ended up being a reasonable distance from each other to see each other twice a year.

Highlights of our time were:

• walking around the neighborhood Sunday morning when the streets were almost empty and it seemed we had the city to ourselves
• coffee shops here and coffee shops there! No lack of (decaf) coffee to drink!
• a wonderful "Girl's Dinner Out" where we had good conversation and Sweet One didn't rush us - a brilliant Ferrero Rocher Cheesecake. Seriously. Best cheesecake. Ever.
• coffee and Tornade de chocolat for me, coffee and chocolatine for my friend (if you're reading I need a name for you, you can even choose it) Sunday morning in a small French bakery where the nearby church bells serenaded us.

I guess it doesn't look like much because we often don't do anything fancy but it means the world to me.

After a long day on the train (11:45-7:15), Sweet One had a huge smile of relief on her face when I put her into the car at 7:20 last night. Rarely has she ever slept in the car for more than 30 mins but she did this time. Within 5 minutes she was sleeping and did so all the way home. This morning she woke up and it is clear that she is happy to be back in familiar surroundings. I'm a little sad as I sit here typing while Sweet One and Big Love nap. I usually go through withdrawal after spending time with 'my people' because being back here reminds me of how far away they seem. But for now, my cup has been filled up and I will sip from it when I start to feel all alone.

First trip as a single parent

I bought health insurance for the few days we'll be in Canada and fell under the category of Single Parent. That was weird.

As per my usual routine I am very anxious about this trip and my abilities to get Sweet One and I to and from Montreal smoothly. Despite the fact that the majority of our trip will be on a train and all I will have to do is entertain her. I'm excited to go but terrified of doing this alone. I think all the more better to be doing this trip. I worried about the summer vacations and once we were en route all was well and so I trust that this will happen again.

I'm tired. My mind is not working and so I must sleep so that driving to the hotel this evening will be safe! Then it's early in the morning onto the train.

Bon voyage.

Travel help needed

So here's where I need a little help and so I'm putting it out there. Big Love is taking his final week of holidays over the Halloween weekend. At this point we're thinking Philly or Baltimore for a couple of days and then maybe Chesapeake Bay. It can not be too expensive and it has to be baby-friendly. I'm wondering if anyone out there has any ideas about where a good place to stay would be and what some things would be good to do. The only thing I hate about exploring new places is that you can spend hours trying to figure out what to do before you realize half your day is done and you haven't done a damn thing!

Oh the freedom!

Am I seriously already thinking of new vacations when we just got back from one? YES! Because now we are not bound by weddings and other events going on 'back home' in western Canada. I know it sounds mean or harsh but I am so glad that we don't have to think of others for the upcoming year and can just go wherever we want. Since moving out here we have thought of many places we'd like to visit but couldn't be of the aforementioned familial obligations basically eating up all of our extra cashflow. Now we can venture out on our own a bit. We do have a few rules for ourselves: 1) we'd prefer no further than 1 hour time difference (unless it is Newfoundland where there's an extra half hour) and 2) we'd prefer no inlaws - ok that's just me because I'm a bitch sometimes.

Now if we can only narrow it down to find a few different places we can visit without killing the piggybank all will be wonderful. I'm dying to go to New Orleans but my husband is wondering if having a little one who goes to sleep quite early in the evenings would cause us to miss out on some of the great things there. Any ideas/experiences out there? I am very interested in going south because I always have been - and we won't be bound to travel in the summer months and so can go in the spring to prevent being returned home in liquid form in a rubbermaid container!

Returning home

My guess is that I have never transitioned well regardless of how old I was. I get nervous going on holidays but once I'm going I'm fine. The trip home feels like one of those tunnels that goes around a turn so long you think it will never end but suddenly you are through. The sunshine is great. For awhile. But then I find myself in dark clouds that stick to my head. They distort everything I see. I can't think straight, I can't focus on anything and I am not fully present in anything I do. I don't feel like I am doing anything right. And this year it seems even harder because I have someone who depends on me for everything. So the little time that leaves for me is almost useless because I just want to curl up and cry. This depression hits me every time I return from a vacation but right now I feel like it is enveloping me and I can't get out. I want to run away but know that wouldn't do a damn thing. And really, an hour away from Sweet One and I feel like something is wrong!

Big Love and I still firmly believe that we are where we need to be. To own a house, for me to stay at home with Sweet One and to get as far out of debt as we can (a light I can actually see at the end of its tunnel). But despite all of that and the momentary feelings of peace I have in our decision it does not make me feel any less guilty about what it means for Sweet One. It means she can't play with her cousins and that right now there are no babies or young kids for her to spend time with. She enjoyed being around her cousins so much and gave enormous smiles to a baby she saw on the plane. It made my heart break for her. Her lack of companions means that I don't have friends and that by far is the hardest thing about living here. Sometimes it just makes me angry.

I hope in a few days I will feel better. Right now I feel completely deflated. I'm exhausted. I don't want to have to do anything. I feel completely stupid and useless because I am struggling to find a way to get Sweet One back onto local time. Prior to and during our vacation she would be asleep before 7, sleep until I woke her at 10:00 and then sleep until 6 or so. Now I can have her asleep before 7 but she wakes up and doesn't get back to sleep until around 10:00. I'm trying something I read which is to put her to bed half an hour earlier each night. Last night it was 9:50 and so tonight may be around 9:30. One thing is clear, the sleep she'd have from 6:30/7-10:00 was definitely important for my own self-care.

Grandma's House

It was beautiful to watch Sweet One with her cousins. We arrived around supper time on Tuesday and by the next morning she was kissing my nephew and smilng as she watched my niece. Sweet One seemed much more relaxed (compared to the previous few days) at my Grandma's house but the fact that I was much more relaxed here was not lost on me. To my great disappointment I was not able to spend much time at the beach where I spent a lot of time during my childhood vacations. Sweet One whimpered when we got there and cried when I tried to take her into the lake with me. A little too young for all that noise. My Grandma was in better shape than I had expected while we were there and we got a few pictures of her holding Sweet One.

My niece and nephew sure do require a lot of energy to be around but as their aunt I only remember the really cute things. Such as my nephew crawling up on my sister's or my mother's lap whenever they were holding Sweet One. My mom kissed Sweet One and my nephew grabbed her cheeked and said "Grandma, kiss me". So unbelievably adorable! Just before we left my stepfather was taking some pictures of us all when we heard a plan above. My nephew immediately said "Mom, pane" and started looking around. The day or so before we were able to watch the yellow plane that my sister was taking her lessons in fly over the house a few times. It was really neat and I was so proud of her. I guess her son is, too!

The last night we were there we awoke at 130 am because the house 50 feet away was burning. The entire household, as well as neighboring houses for all of the cul-de-sac and most of the block, were evacuated as electrical transformers were blowing. A little more drama than we had all hoped for but two hours later we were back in the house. Being back at home, our neighbor has a little fire pit and when he has things burning it reminds both Big Love and I of that night.

As we left the place of some of my greatest childhood memories, I could not shake the feeling that it was probably the last time I would see my Grandma and her house. I'm not sure why and perhaps I'll be proven wrong in a few years, but it was a very prominent feeling for me.

No turbulence

maybe one day I'll figure out what happened to me yesterday, but right now this is all I can do to make sense of my day:

6:00 - wake up and eat, get dressed, Mama runs around getting things ready. 7:20 - there's no way I'm staying awake any longer so I hope she will let me nap. 8:00 - wake up, don't really want to eat, get in car. 9:00 - stop at rest stop so mom can pee, but i don't really want to eat again. 10:00 - I go on a strange bus for a few minutes. now we're at this weird thing called an airport. lots of stuff going on. 11:30 - I'm getting hungry so I eat a bit. 12:00 - now we're getting on this thing called a plane. people are looking at me and smiling because I'm so damn cute. how do I know? they all keep telling my Mama how beautiful I am. 12:20 - this adoration is tiring. I'm going to sleep. 1:30 - Mama is standing up on this airplane thing. I guess I slept through it all. Now we're wandering around another airport and Dad keeps telling me we're in Detroit. Mama changes my bum, I eat a bit and we have to get on another plane. 3:40-9:45 or so - plane was late starting but seriously, people were constantly telling me how cute I am. the people who bring the drinks loved me. i sucked my soother a lot and my ears never hurt. I got pretty tired at one point and cried a little but I only want to sleep for half an hour. It's too late in the day and if I'm not in my bed by now I'm not gonna! what's the point? 12:00 midnight - the sky is still light, we got a strange car, drove for awhile to this hotel and seriously, I'm done. I just need to scream a little to make it all better and then I'll eat what Mama has for me. ok, I feel better. Good night. supposedly I have to go on this thing called a ferry tomorrow.

Then she woke up at 3:40 local time (but really, 6:30 in her world) for food and I got her back to sleep for another three hours. This kid was amazing. We're now in Victoria and it is going well.

A few weeks ago Big Love and I had a huge conversation about being here with his parents. I was so worried about the constant "Facts about babies according to MIL" and the glares I sometimes get. In the end my concern boiled down to the fact that I need him to be as present with Sweet One and myself while we are here so that I don't feel like I am being left out on the front lines. With prior visits he would always revert into the quiet, shy son that he was for many years - I could hardly recognize him. So far so good. I already feel less 'on my own'. Although I got a "Aren't you going to put a hat on her? You don't want her head to burn." Seriously. Look at my hand holding not just a hat but sunglasses as well.

Sweet One is playing shy a bit and really wants her Mama. The in-laws seem careful to give me my time and space with Sweet One but there is swarming behind me when I step out to use the washroom! I managed to get her sleeping at her usual bedtime just switched into local time. Let's hope the time change is this easy! Now all I need to do is find a subtle way to get my in-laws to stop calling me mommy because I'm Mama.

One final question: When Seattle highways have a lane for 2 or more persons, does the driver count as one or is that the driver plus 2 persons? I was confused.

and off we go, again

Tomorrow morning we need to the leave the house by 8am to get to the airport. Twelve hours later we will arrive in Seattle and following that we will get our rental car and drive to our hotel in Mount Vernon. I hope Sweet One is alright. On our previous trip we realized that even if she is dead tired she is usually ok as long as she can see her Mama - which is also why most of her hardcore screaming is done when I am driving the car. Luckily the next day won't be as long in the car and she'll get to go on her first Ferry ride to Victoria.

I haven't spent the last week not sleeping from the stress of this trip, thank God! I do think that having a trip previous to this one has given me some confidence in knowing that I know what to pack and that I'll be able to handle this. There are a few very long travel days ahead (both by air and land) but hopefully we'll all survive.

Sweet One is going to be baptized while we are on our trip. When I was doing my undergrad degree I became very close with the chaplain and his family. Since my undergrad he and his family has moved to Victoria, which is Big Love's hometown, and so she will be baptized by him. I am also very happy that some very special people in my life have agreed to be her Godparents and are flying in for the occasion. At a time in our lives when we feel quite isolated from those who are closest to us, Big Love and I can not be happier that Sweet One will be surrounded by dear friends and family on her baptism day. (And the fact that her head will atually get wet in the midst of beautiful liturgy - something that would not happen here!)

Home again, home again ...

... no time for the jiggidy jig as I feel that by the time I finish the rhyme we will be gone again! The trip to T.O. was wonderful and I fully took the time to luxuriate in my surroundings. The beautiful hotel, the streets filled with people and interesting places and being back in Canada. One of my favorite moments was when we were walking on the downtown streets Sunday morning. It was so quiet. We also enjoyed having Sweet One out on her first holiday - her first train ride, hotel stay, subway and street car rides - all so fun. She was amazing. I could tell she was getting more and more tired with each day but ne'er was there a breakdown that had her screaming in public. She went to sleep by 7:00 each evening and I would watch tv (often with subtitles because the volume was quite low) or read (often too tired to read) in the semi-darkness as I listened to her sleep. In the end we just felt like the trip was great. We learned what it is like to travel with Sweet One and I feel like I am a bit more prepared for the trip - on our own first was much better than being surrounded by tons of family to overwhelmed us all! An added bonus: Big Love placed third in the competition. He played very well and even before the announcement was made that he was a finalist we felt like he had accomplished what he went there to do! (And the prize money helped pay for a chunk of the trip!)

Now I am home. When we first got home I placed Sweet One in her Exersaucer and I immediately saw the joy in her face at being somewhere familiar. My job right now is to help her get as much rest as possible before we leave on the next trip and I am feeling quite overwhelmed by all of the other tasks that need to be done. It usually takes me a week to feel done with all the catch up from a trip, nevermind that we are off again early Wednesday morning! I need to make a list of all that needs to be done because it will be more easily completed than this jumble of 'things' scrunched up in my brain!