Tuesday, April 2, 2013

What's next?

At the end of a long day of traveling we found ourselves in a strange city. While neither of us had ever been to Seattle, save driving from its airport to a hotel further north, it didn't make us nervous. Cities make sense to me. The mass transit, the buildings, the people walking and cycling. I loved it. Little Man was strapped to my back while I pushed Sweet One in the stroller and Big Love hauled the suitcase behind him. At least my cargo sang at the top of her lungs for most of our trek!

I want to be living in a bigger center in the next few years. Right now ourr life in a small town with very small housing costs is manageable but I worry about whether or not we'll be able to manage it. (Yes, one day I do want to go back to work but the idea of what to do and how to make my skills appealing is another post in and of itself.) I see the people walking down the street, I read blogs of young families figuring out their owns lives where they live and I can't stop wondering how we all end up right where we are. I look at lovely houses and gardens with children playing in them and try to picture us in their place. I'm excited at the idea of figuring out how to get where we want to be but also scared because I really have no idea what our options might be. Or even if it is going to happen when I'd like it to happen. (We originally thought we would only live here for 5 years. This July it will be 7!)

Maybe that's my problem. I have no idea. There's no equation that will help me understand why one person lives in a wonderful city while I am in this wee town. We need to take the steps necessary to see where our next stop is but there are moments I'm afraid it will never happen.

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