Friday, September 14, 2012

Permanent Failure

Despite the fact that I stopped calling and talking to my Dad on a regular basis, I did include him on every email I sent out that had pictures and youtube links of the kids. It was the only way I included him in my daily life. I haven't sent any pictures out since before his accident because of the fact that I knew I'd get his back and I couldn't take his name off of the group I created for these mailings. Sweet One was singing one of her improv songs that was called "Missing Uncle [name]" and Little Man was goofing around with her. So I videoed it. It was one of those things that are simple basic stuff kids do but those who love them find them priceless. So I sent the link and got the email returned from my Dad's address.

A few moments ago I went to take his name off of the list but I can't do it. I've been so close to crying throughout the past few days and I've come up dry. Perhaps I'm 'all cried out'. As I stared at the screen and could not make myself hit the spot that would delete his address it all came back. It's kind of nice to have the release but it still hurts.

For now, I'll try to send out pictures a little more and just let the emails come back to me screaming, Permanent Failure.

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