The Sound of Silence

I never used to do well with silence. Going from High School to dorms at University, silence was pretty rare. As life moved on I felt uncomfortable with too much silence. Living on my own for four years I would either have the TV or music on to fill the air. I'm not too sure why that is. There's a big chance that I wasn't comfortable enough with myself and having to listen to too much going on in my head.

The first time my in-laws visited us Big Love had to work while they were here which left me with the job of entertaining them. They don't talk a whole lot and I found myself squirming in my seat to try and figure out if it was because they just liked the quiet from time to time or if they were not enjoying themselves. And so I rambled on and on and on (slam head against wall) because I simply didn't know what I was supposed to do. Silence by myself was one thing, silence with two other people I wasn't completely comfortable with was a whole other challenge!

More and more I am now finding myself loving the quiet. If I luck out enough to have a few quiet moments to myself in the day it isn't hard for me to just sit and drink my decaf coffee. Nothing really on my mind. I move only enough to raise my orange up to my lips. My skin tingles like it does when I'm falling asleep. I have no problem slowing down my brain. When I feel like I'm slogging through mud every day, it's nice to stop and give in to the weight of my tired mind and body.

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On a very different note, the mail brought us notices to say that our status has been adjusted to permanent resident. This is such great news for us. No more worrying, nausea, fear of being deported or anything else like that that goes along with being on a temporary visa.