Today you are two and there moments when I can hardly believe it. Right now I am listening to you scream on and off because in the past few days a switch has been flipped. We've been having troubles with your sleeping again for the past few months and while you are now sleeping better through the night you have decided that it is necessary to scream at the top of your lungs to try your hardest not to fall asleep. (The experts call this sleep resistance and I call it hell.) You do not want to go to sleep on your own anymore even though only a few weeks ago you did it perfectly, sometimes asking to go to sleep early because you were so tired. When we are going through a rough patch like this I find that it completely defines the days.
You have stopped screaming! I think it is because last night you screamed for so long and then woke up quite early. You were very tired but didn't nap for very long in the afternoon. After your nap, Daddy took you to the grocery store and you got to pick out a balloon. I would have taken you but I wanted your Daddy to be able to see just how excited you get when you pick out a balloon. He told me that just as he was about to pay for it, the man behind you in line beat him to it. Can you imagine that? A complete stranger bought you your birthday balloon! It was of the Backyardigans (some of your favorite characters).
After you got home we got a few more things ready and then some people came over to celebrate your birthday with you. Two of your friends from across the street came and played with you. Unfortunately, the middle boy couldn't come because he is sick and his mama didn't want you to get sick. Your surrogate great-grandma came too! We live so far from our own family that it is nice these people love you so much. You ate the purple icing off of your cupcake and then asked for some water. Maybe you don't like things that are too sweet. You licked two cheese puffs and then left them on the floor and I thought that was funny. When we had pizza you ate your piece so fast because of all the playing you did.
I was very happy that you liked your Retro Red Radio Flyer tricycle and yellow helmet right from the start. Sometimes I worry that the things we get for you are not good enough or that you will not like them. So far, you have shown me that you are happy with what you have.
Lately, because your sleeping has been so troublesome, I have not felt like I'm a good mama to you. I've been tired, too, because your sister or brother growing in my tummy takes a lot of my energy and then I don't have enough patience. Your Daddy tells me I am doing a good job and I can only hope that I am able to show you how much I love you. You show me that you love me by giving me big hugs and wonderful kisses. I promise that I will always do my best to treat you with respect and love; when I am not being a good mama, I will do my best to tell you how sorry I am and do better next time. (It is amazing how quickly you can forgive me when I get mad but I beat myself up for days!)
I hope that as you grow you will receive many more acts of random kindness as you did today and perhaps you will brighten someone else's day by doing the same. My greatest wish for you has always been and always will be that you are courageous in who you are and that you find your way to step confidently in this world.
I love you.