I believe that my job as a mother is to prepare my child to be able to firmly stand on her own two feet. As I watched her today, walking everywhere she possibly could, I couldn't help but get a few tears in my eyes. At times she would walk straight for me and then veer off to somewhere else. It made my heart ache a little to think that there was something else more exciting than me! She looks too little to be walking already; it's too soon. I want to be able to protect her as long as I can but I know there are things she will have to do on her own. I let her walk wherever she wanted. Sometimes I was close by and at other times I watched from a distance as she plopped down on her bum and then got back up with courage and determination. Learning to do this on her own and trusting herself to do it. She knew that with every step she took she was accomplishing something. Words fail me as I recall the beaming look on her face. Thank God these are not the steps that will take her from me as she leaves the nest.
That is what I want to remember today by. Not the fussing that happened when she wasn't walking; the food thrown on the floor, the whining and all the behavior that is so out of the ordinary for her. I'm hoping the teeth will break through soon! (Little fukkers.)
I also do not want to remember today by the fear that is gnawing at my stomach as we await a decision that will have to be made due to someone else's error in the payroll at church. It has the potential to kick our asses.