The world is getting bigger

It was a big day today for my Little Man. Unfortunately, despite getting out for my morning run nice and early, I wasn't moving quite as quickly as I should've once I got back and we were running a bit late. He got on his bike and we headed down to "my new preschool". At the moment that I had to hug him and say goodbye he was holding onto my hand pretty hard. He's always held onto me a little more than Sweet One does. (She ran off to her first day of Kindergarten last week like a star!) I gave him a huge hug and told him we'd go out for lunch when he was all done his first day. "I want to go to Wendy's." Anywhere you'd like, kid.

I couldn't get to the coffee shop fast enough. Why is it so comforting to hold onto a cup of coffee? There are moments in my day where I feel like if I can just rest that cup in my hands, against my chest then I can breathe. Across the street is Sweet One's school and I had to drop off her water bottle that Big Love forgot to put in her lunch bag. ("I want a sandwich, an apple and water for my lunch. Every day.")

I have plans for my 2.5 hours, 3 times a week when I am on my own. I'm going to practice and then I'm going to work on all the projects we have that need to get done at the house. My hope is that maybe if those projects get done other things will fall into place and we'll get to move and our house will sell.

After 5.5 years of ignoring a big part of myself and being at home with the kids, it is weird that right now it is all about me. They are off exploring new things and having new adventures without me as their world gets bigger. And while my heart feels like it might break right now, I'm looking forward to what I might be able to accomplish for myself and with our house in over the next chunk of time.