Thursday, May 31, 2012

An afternoon excursion

I grabbed my purse and my iPod, blew my family a kiss and started walking down the street. It's been awhile since I've had some down time and I was really looking forward to it. Jason Mraz was singing in my ear (love his new album) and fortunately the sun wasn't blazing and so I was really enjoying myself. I stopped to grab a coffee and decided to treat myself to a turnover. Unfortunately, it did not have the cherries in it I had hoped for but it was still nice. There was a bit of a bounce in my step as I kept walking until I reached my destination. I sat down and pulled out my book. After reading a few pages I was called and so I went into another room, disrobed and had a pap smear.

Seriously. If you would have told me 4 years ago that I would look forward to getting a pap smear simply because of the time I got to spend on my own I would have looked at you as if you were nuts. It really was a lovely time, except for those few moments when .... well, you know.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

13 months and 29 days

Little Man stopped breastfeeding tonight. I had slowly been making my way down to a single feeding right before bedtime and then I'd let him stop on his own. That is what he did. Just like his sister did. And I am proud of the fact that I was able to feed my babies for as long as I did. I'm looking forward to getting back into a 'regular' bra and not feeling like the girls are headed south. (Then again, who am I kidding! I've read many saggy breasts stories on mommy blogs!) I'm glad that I'm not going to have to end things myself in the attempt to keep my nipples safe from being bitten off.

But I'm still sad. I shed a few tears and will probably be a little sad for the rest of the evening. Breastfeeding exclusively (no pumping) defined a big part of how I mothered my babies. But I will let him go just this little bit. Because doing it bit by bit is easier than all at once.

Friday, May 18, 2012

It's not me, it's you

Sweet One is going to be in a dance recital tomorrow and she was so damn cute at the dress rehearsal that I almost died. Perhaps Big Love will need a quick course in CPR before tomorrow! She's in a Creative Movement class and a tumbling class. In the run through for the tumbling they were doing leap frog and she practically jumped on her friend's head at which me and her mother started laughing so hard WE bumped heads together. So fun. Definitely a great mom moment.

But what is pissing me off right now is the bad taste I have in mouth after trying to be polite and strike up a conversation with one of the other moms. Really, I shouldn't be surprised because this woman has made no attempt to converse with any of us other moms in the four and a half months we've been attending the classes. She mentioned being a member at one of the local country clubs and while my friend and I were trying to be friendly and chat a bit, she wouldn't even look at us. Seriously. Quite a bitchy thing to do. But I take these moments personally and waste too much time stewing and feeling shitty about myself after they happen. When really, I wasn't the one being a bitch.

So I'll smile, be happy that I was able to be there with a friend while Sweet One got to enjoy the whole experience with her friend. And be happy with that. Because it is good.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Worth a thousand bucks

Sweet One likes to hang out with me when I'm working out. She'll sit on the piano bench at the desk where the portable DVD player sits (I don't actually watch the DVDs, just listen) and tell me if I'm doing it right. Once in awhile she tells me how to fix it, "You need to do this, Mom!" as she does something with her body. Other times she might try to imitate what I'm doing. It's really cute.

This morning she spent nearly the whole half hour with me as I desperately tried to do my pilates. After awhile she got bored, went downstairs and returned with her little case of markers. She sat on the floor beside me and quietly drew a picture. It was the first time it resembled something. Up until now she's usually just scribbled here and there. I was so proud of her. And then she told me what it was:

"It's you exercising, Mom!"

She then tried to stick it on the closet door but it didn't work because it needed something sticky. Now residing on our fridge, I'm so excited that she's crossed this developmental milestone and will start creating wonderful things!

(And yes, it is quite likely that it resembles what I look like, trying to work away my pooch!)

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


Looks like I need a new header! That snow was rarely around this winter and spring has taken over with a few record highs and so much sunshine (with just enough overcast to remind me how hard my brain is on overcast).

Little Man has moved to one nap a day. I was so looking forward to that and now I sort of miss the quieter days! I would sometimes post while he was napping and Sweet One was watching TV but those times are gone. And while I remind myself that I haven't put anything down in this place for awhile, I'm so tired by the time things are quiet that I haven't one inch of energy to put words together.

I didn't think we'd put Sweet One in preschool but over the past week we have decided to do so. Big Love got a new gig that will add to our income enough to afford it. She seems so ready to learn more, constantly asking questions and the other side of it is, I feel like we're butting heads a little more than I'd like and I think having her at preschool will give us a bit of a break from each other. In a very good way. I'll use some of that time to go grocery shopping with Little Man and do other things perhaps.

My friend was over with her kids today. And it felt so much easier to be around her. We didn't get into politics, but some of the things we talked about made me realize I really don't have to worry about voicing my opinion. It makes me happy.

Because of when Sweet One will be in preschool I don't think going to the mom's group I've been attending will work out. The thing is, we went about 6 weeks without a meeting and I didn't miss it. Then I missed the last meeting but I didn't really miss it. Maybe I'm just more sad that there isn't a different mom's group in this tiny town where I'd feel like I fit in better. I don't know. Just something I'm pondering.

Did I mention I'm tired? Still not sleeping more than 4 hours (and I'm lucky to get that!) in a row at night. Sometimes it's the kids but other times it's just me.

See. Not that much has been happening. Nothing too exciting. Oh, except for the discovery under my dining room carpet and hopefully I'll get around to throwing some pictures up in the next few days!

(And I have one more week before the in-laws arrive.)