Another unwearable sewing project is the reason why I will feel like shit about myself for the next few hours.

So I got back to the shirt I had started a few days before my Dad has his accident. It is Simplicity 2594 view E. I was quite surprised when I pulled it out of the box because I had gotten further ahead than I had remembered. And it actually looked promising to me. Now because of when I had started it, it took a little emotional encouragement to get back at it. Once I did I was excited because I had high hopes that it would turn out alright. Not as perfect as this one but something I could add to my sad summer wardrobe (my daughter keeps telling me I need new shirts because I have holes all over the area where it rubs on my pants button).

The yoke totally got me. I had to undo the shoulder seams because I thought I messed up and so I just did what I thought might work out. But it didn't because somehow when I went to attach the yoke and do the top stitching, it didn't line up and I had to fold over some of the collar. Ok. I can deal.

At this point I put the shirt over me and because I didn't use a knit, nor did I cut the bottom three inches 2 sizes bigger than the rest, I don't think it is going to get pulled over my body. And then I think it is going to be much too tight around the muffin top.

The problem with each and every attempt at making a top for myself flopping, I start to beat myself up. I really want to be able to make myself something here and there and I know I need to keep working at it to get any better, but I feel like every attempt gets all fukked up! It's a waste of money for me to buy the material and never wear the shirt.

If the top part does end up being somewhat wearable, maybe I can add a zipper in the side near the bottom, but then that is going to be very stiff compared to the rest of the soft cotton material that I used. Why can I make such nice stuff for my kids and when it comes to attempting something for myself, it looks like shit?!

And yet, I still want to keep trying. There's a top pattern floating around on the interwebs that I might try. Maybe I'll have better luck with a PDF pattern than the ones I get from the usual suppliers.

Two Zippered Pouches: One for an Innotab2 and one for food

In six sleeps we will wake up earlier than the sun and hopefully be out our door, on the road to the airport, by about 6:30. We have a nearly two hour drive to the airport then we hop on our first flight that will take us to Washington. Then the fun beings as we board plane #2 and arrive in Seattle, WA 6 hours later. We'll grab a hotel and then be on the Clipper the next morning. 

I'm not really looking forward to this trip. I'm worried that I won't get any sleep and I'll get glared down by my MIL more times than I'm comfortable with. On the other side of that, I'm hoping I'll grow up enough to just let go without putting negative expectations on it and try to enjoy myself while my kids get to spend some time with their grandparents and aunt and uncle. Sweet One is absolutely, completely excited about this trip. Yesterday after Preschool her teacher told me she was a little out of sorts because she was so excited. This is the first time we've ever been told she was out of sorts by her teacher.

So for the past few weeks I've been trying to figure out a way to keep our packing as minimal as possible. Since we need to hop on public transit to get to the hotel we are hoping to only take one real suitcase, a purse and bag for me and one backpack per kid.

In terms of entertaining the kids, I have loaded up a number of movies onto a couple of SD cards so that they can watch them with Sweet One's Innotab2. The fact that I can use an SD was one reason I chose it over its competitor. She got it from her grandparents for Christmas and I'm hoping it will save our sanity this trip. One problem in terms of trying to pack light is that the case I bought for it is rather large and would take up pretty much her whole backpack. So I searched and found this tutorial at So Sew Something! and figured that I could add a few pockets and padding to make it work for the Innotab2.

I'm using a 12" zipper and have cut my main pieces at 10" x 11". The smaller purple pieces are for the pockets and they are 2.75" x 6". The large purple pieces have a piece of fusible fleece attached to the back as do 2 of the 4 smaller purple pieces.

                                 

To make the pockets I took one piece with fleece and one without, put the right sides together and sewed around 3 sides. Then I flipped them right side out, turned in the bottom edges and sewed it up shut.

Then I eyeballed it and sewed one pocket on each piece of the lining fabric. (My thinking was that the pockets would be opposite each other and then hopefully the Innotab2 would sit in between them somewhat.)

From this point on I just did as the tutorial at So Sew Something! instructed and it came together very quickly.

It ended up a little wider than it needed to but it is not nearly as thick as the other case. Sweet One will love it because I made it out of her "absolutely favorite colors!" (Anyone else's kid in love with Charlie and Lola?) The pockets each hold two game cartridges and slide in very nicely. While we can't reach down into them to get the bottom cartridge, they slide out very easily by placing a finger at the bottom of the cartrdige and pushing it up and out.

 A few days ago I had actually made one other pouch with the same tutorial. Before putting it together, I basted on a piece of Insul-Bright to each of the outer fabric pieces. Then I continued on as the tutorial told me to and I now have a pouch that will keep some portable yogurt and cheese sticks cool since we'll be in the air for both lunch and supper!

In the end, if all my efforts to entertain the kids and keep them fed still leaves them with the urge to scream at the top of their lungs for much too long, I'll never have to see anybody on the plane again! And I've also heard that it goes a long way to buy the person in front of us a drink or snack pack if our kids are kicking their seats a bit too much.

Doesn't fit as I'd like

I finally got the courage to do some sewing. I've had material sitting around for awhile and so I decided to just go for it. Unfortunately, I ended up cutting a pattern a wee bit too small for this postpartum body and chose the too short version. Luckily, I have enough material left over that I can start it again.

I've been struggling with my body these days and I'm not sure if I ever won't. I want to learn to accept it. It gave me two babies who are awesome and I should be happy with that. Right? I've been working out with a few different DVDs at home. I'm getting stronger but I'm not actually losing any weight. I think I need to add more cardio so perhaps on top of doing a workout 5 times a week I can get out for at least 3 real walks with the kids. That might help. Who knows. In the very least, if I can't accept it I need to let Sweet One think that I do so that perhaps she will be happy with hers.

I do know that I'm not absolutely miserable (at least for now) about the fact that 3 hours of sewing has nothing to show for it. And I'm just shaking my head at this pooch of mine. Another time I might have been crying and swearing. So I'm good for now.

I think that's progress.

The creativity part of my brain feels stagnant. I've been trying to motivate it by checking out more sewing/crafting blogs. One of the new blogs I'm checking out is Me Sew Crazy and today they're having a giveaway for a Visa card. I'm supposed to blog about it to try to win it so please excuse this post if you think it is annoying but $100 is a lot in my world!

A very uncomfortable tight spot

It only took me a week to get back to the project I had started last week. I had some time today to give this a try today and it was an epic fail. I couldn't get my head through the hole and even if I had, I wouldn't have been able to get the rest of the shirt past my chest. It was all too tight. I think I need a different material. While I was using a knit, it didn't stretch in enough areas.

I always get my hopes up about projects like this. I want to be able to make nice things for myself but so far it has never really turned out - except for a few dresses. Why can I make nice things for Sweet One when I suck so bad at getting things to fit me?

So I'm standing there, stuck in a shirt, half naked and Big Love thinks it's cute so he has a smile on his. I felt horrible. Sad that my attempt to add something nice to my lack-of-wardrobe failed, my hopes crushed and thus killing any confidence I had thought I might gain from a successful project, vulnerable because I'm half naked with my muffin top hanging over and my husband is laughing. I also hate that it means $15 went to nothing.

Maybe I should go and shovel some snow.

False start

I don't watch the Super Bowl. I've tried to watch it for the commercials but I just haven't been able to get an entire one watched since I moved here. So tonight I decided not to bother and I spent a chunk of the day psyching myself up to give this a try. I bought the material Thursday when the kids and I needed somewhere to go because the weather wasn't very hospitable for playing outside. I didn't think I'd get to it this quickly but figured if I had the material on hand it might help.

It doesn't matter how simple a project is, if I've never tried something like it before I always second guess myself for WAY too long before I attempt it. But then I realized that I would need something to do this evening and so I thought of doing this tutorial because I have a new lug bag/purse that isn't huge but big enough for basic diaper changing and a few toys as well as my wallet, etc, but it does seem to get a little cluttered. I rifled through my leftover material this afternoon but didn't have what I needed. (I think I'll go and buy myself a couple fat quarters.)

Rather than making a quick run to the fabric store (which is in the middle of renovations and will be twice the size as it used to be!) I went for a walk with the family this afternoon. It was fun because Sweet One seems to be recovering from her cold, albeit not without the 'crashes' here and there, and she was very adventurous. So cute to watch. While we were on our walk I started thinking about whether or not I could attempt the shirt.

I continued to think about it as I was making supper and then giving Little Man his bath. I decided to just do it. As with most things like this, once I get started I'm good. I was wearing a shirt that was fairly comfortable and a similar material so I thought it would be a good starting point.

I finished reading Sweet One her bedtime stories (yes, I'm still the only one who does it) and got to work right away. Sewing machine set up and threaded? Check. Material laid out on the floor? Check. Madonna kicking ass with the half time show? Check. Shirt placed on material? Stop. I had been wearing my 'pattern' all day and it was stretched out without much shape left to it. I figure that if I were to use it in the state that it is, the new shirt would end up not being as good as it could. Shit.

Frustrating because how often do I actually try to do something for myself?! Oh well. I'm leaving the sewing machine out which will help to motivate me and I need to do laundry tomorrow, anyway.

Party Dress

I made Sweet One a dress for her birthday and I must say that of all the dresses I've made her, I think it is the best! I used a pdf pattern for the first time. I was a little nervous at first but it ended up being one of the best patterns I have ever used. The whole time I worked with it I felt like I was doing a good job. The person who made this pattern seems to have found a way to help you have the best finished product possible. I truly loved working with the pattern.

While the dress is reversible I didn't exactly make it to be worn that way. The outer material is a corduroy and the inner material is a cotton knit. I didn't exactly plan to have it that way but I did want corduroy on the outside and the only material I could find in the store to go with it was the knit. I had hoped I'd find a flannel to help with warmth in the winter but the knit seems to be quite warm as well. Unfortunately it was a little harder to work but I managed to do alright. (Making figure skating uniforms for my niece has definitely boosted my confidence in stretchy materials!) The biggest place I had to change things up was on the pockets because the bias tape (made out of the same material as the pocket) didn't work in the knit so I just used a corduroy.

It was fun to watch Sweet One get excited about the idea of her 'party dress'. I'd try things on her at different stages and each time she didn't want to take it off. I had to tell her that I wasn't done. I originally planned on making the dress with one pocket as the pattern is but when Sweet One tried it on she said, "Could I have two pockets, please?" How could I say no to that! And really, that's just one benefit to making the dress yourself - you can do whatever you want!

It is definitely Sweet One's favorite dress. She wants to wear it almost every day.

When I pulled the dress out to take some pictures of it, Sweet One wouldn't let it go so I told her to hold it up so I could get a picture of it!

I stopped "should"-ing on myself and it feels great!

Yesterday I hit my wall. I spent my spare time working on a blazer made from sweatshirt fleece that I had wanted to get done (McCalls 5714) but it was turning out as if Sweet One had helped me with it. Since moving to this town I've lost my avenues of creative expression. Since it is hard to find time to get out of town for shopping when I need them, I've had high hopes that I could improve my sewing skills to enhance my wardrobe in a way that helps me express myself without breaking the bank. A double bonus would be the creativity it takes just to make the pieces. So far I have failed miserably. Last summer I made a shirt and a pair of shorts which are both unwearable. I really have no clue if this blazer is going to be salvageable. I was very upset by the time I was done sewing yesterday. I packed up my machine. Maybe I need a good book to teach me more about garment sewing. I know I need more time and patience with myself than I have.

I started feeling sick right around supper time last night. Funny that it should line up with hitting the wall! I had been feeling so stressed over the past few days worrying about what I wasn't getting done and how much time I wasn't focussing on Sweet One. All of this was simply not a good combination with less than two weeks before this baby is cut out of me.

I made a decision. Since I got all but the finishing done on the sweater last night, it was time to stop worrying. To give myself as much time to rest as I could and to enjoy the last few days I have with only one child. The house needs a bit more cleaning so that I can feel like I haven't left stupid things all over the place and other than that, I am not taking on anything else that isn't every day necessities. Yesterday around 6:30 I was crying on the couch, snuggling with Sweet One as she watched Super Why? on the computer. At the same time today I was lying on the floor playing with Sweet One. I laughed at how my brain had so much positive energy that I could go for a walk but the muscles in my back were screaming at me to just relax. Quite a difference and all because I decided to let go of a few "shouldas".

A summer dress for Sweet One

I finally finished this little dress for Sweet One. I won the primary material from a blog and I had such high hopes for this dress using McCalls pattern 5835. I got very frustrated with the armholes section. I find that McCalls is greatly lacking in their design of toddler dresses by how they have you fold and sew them. For someone like me who wants to improve my skills, it rarely sets me up for success. I'm going to try to stick with Simplicity and New Look patterns for this in the future. I was, however, very excited about how my gathering of the ruffles turned out. This was probably the most successful I've ever been with such a large gathering section.

All in all, I hope Sweet One enjoys wearing it. One of the reasons I want to be able to do a good job of her dresses is because I can choose materials that remind me of so many little boutique stores that sells unique clothes which I can not afford. I think that with my combination of materials I chose for this dress that I am on my way to doing that. Now to just perfect more of my sewing skills. (Like that will happen in the next 6 months!)

Repeating Rectangles

I had found the material at the local fabric and craft store this summer but it wasn't until just before my in-laws came for a visit last month that I finally got around to making two curtains for my bathroom. I didn't want to spend a huge amount of time on them nor did I want them to block out light so I simply measured them and hung them as 'tapestries' to add a little pattern to our bathroom.I have previously finished curtains for three other rooms in our house and the bathroom made the fourth. Completely bored of sewing the same thing over and over, I made plans to move onto room number 5. Sweet One's current room is too small for two kids and so I need to move her into "The Studio" (a room I had hoped would be where I taught some voice lessons was not to be) so that there would be enough space for them. Luckily, I found a great deal online for the curtain's material as well as blackout lining. Unfortunately, since the biggest function of curtains in our house is to block out sunlight and drafts, it had to be more boring rectangles. I only needed four panels in this room so it felt less daunting than the 6 in the other two bedrooms.
They went pretty quickly and I think the end result is fun for a kid's room but these curtains didn't leave me any more inspired to move on to the last room of the house. I found this material at the same time as Sweet One's and couldn't have been happier to pay approximately $70 for the heavier weight home decor material. I love a bargain and it is quite a steal to be able to get two rooms adorned in rectangles for that cheap. Especially because one has the blackout lining.
I did work a little bit 'inside the rectangle' by making the valances a slightly different shape. Having to think a little bit more about these was nice but three hours later and how many yards of folding and ironing and pining and then finally sewing to put it all together ... well, it still felt like a freakin' rectangle. There is one more valance over the sink which I hung with a pressurized rod so I didn't have to put up hardware in a place that would have been awkward. And so, after what felt like a full month of sewing rectangles I moved onto a new project: rectangles made of flannel!
Yup. Exciting! I was not really impressed with the material that the Pack'NPlay sheets were made of and so I decided that I'd make some out of flannel for the baby. It didn't seem all that difficult, and of course the second won't, but it is ridiculously hard to squarely get a rectangle cut! Sweet One slept in the bassinet part of the P'nP for almost 7 months and I figure the new baby will as well. (Sweet One can tell her therapist that she had crunchy sheets while her sibling had cozy soft ones!) It was nice to be making something for him/her but I'm a little desperate for a sewing project that feels creative and fun. There are probably next to no corners in a pair of training pants! (Sweet is too little for the commercial ones as they all start at 25 or 26 pounds.)

Skating and the Beast

My sister got whisked off to Mexico for her 30th birthday over the past week. The trip was a total surprise for her - she only got 24 hours to prepare. One of the things that had to be taken care of was a skating dress for my niece's upcoming carnival in which she has a solo and I volunteered to take care of it. I just finished it and despite the stress of the whole thing I am quite happy with the results ... except for the fact that I'm not completely sure it is going to fit. I haven't seen my niece since last April and with these skating dresses it is very hard to make without the person being there. I did my best and in the end, it is going to be a very expensive dress once I express post it over there! Hopefully she'll wear it for more than 4.5 minutes.

One thing that has come out of this experience is that I have outgrown "the beast". My mom bought this sewing machine in the early 70's and I've been using it quite a bit in the five years since she's passed it on to me. The skating dress would have taken much less time and energy if I had a newer machine. There are also many things I'd like to make for Sweet One but this machine doesn't enable me to make them. Big Love and I (as well as my "call a friend sewing crisis" person) have agreed that it is time I get a new machine. One that I may one day perhaps pass on to Sweet One.

It has been a loyal beast and I'm not willing to part with it, just retire it as it feels like the time to do so. I remember my mom sewing with it when I was young and I have spent hours making diapers, curtains, dresses, pajama pants, stockings and a housecoat.

What a shriveled up fruit can do

Today I learned an important lesson. It is not a good idea to let a young child, who is barely 18 pounds, eat 5 prunes a day. Even if she walks into the kitchen with an expectant look on her face, pointing to the cabinet that they are kept in, it is not a good idea. Not even if she opens her mouth for you to pop one in and then happily turns around with a cheek-full and a bounce in her step. Yes, they are fruit but they are also a fruit with purpose. A purpose that has been known for eons. No. Not at all. 5 prunes a day is too much. Especially if you cloth diaper.

And now there is some chiffon waiting to be sewn. I'm a little frightened.

Two more brain farts for today

National Delurking Day. Neat! Please, play along and leave me a comment. Come out of hiding and say hello and you will completely make my day. Obviously I have counters because I'm beyond curious to see who may give two shits and where people are from.

Two - Thursday night. One of the bigger days in the tv week for me as Grey's Anatomy is on. HOWEVER. After years of never seeing a bad episode this season is becoming, in my opinion, a bit of a dud. The final episode before Christmas SUCKED ASS as it jumped through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's in whatever 47 minutes it could. A lack of cohesiveness was so evident. I love Grey's Anatomy people, ever since the first episode I watched as I got mildly drunk in my apartment trying to deal with the fact that my father was visiting (all visits with him over the past 6 or so years have left me drunk before and after as well as in tears and emotionally beaten up). (I am laughing at just how much detail I can recall from different moments in my life, kinda scary. A good memory is not always a good friend.)

OK - I said they were brain farts and in true Mamabird style, that's what came out. Now I'm off to sew a few more curtains for my bedroom.

I conquered the sleep sack

Every time I passed by the dining room table I looking at the material. A constant reminder of the sleep sack I wanted to make for Sweet One. I was going to go rogue and make it without a pattern. (Patterns for this weren't on sale when I was buying the material.) My first sewing project, other than curtain panels, that I would not use a pattern for. Pieces were cut with another sleep sack as the guide. I knew I could make it but that little voice inside my head that makes me question my abilities (even for something as simple as this) was working too well over the past week and a half. Today I silenced it and my little project worked just fine. The only thing that could have been better was the size of the armholes. Because I was guessing at how big it needed to be I did not get the proportions right. (The pattern is on sale now so I will probably get it to avoid that particular problem again.) My original motivation for making this was to save some money. The supplies for this one cost under $10 whereas buying a new one is double that.