Read it! She's awesome

I love reading Woulda Coulda Shoulda. Quite honestly, if Mir wrote a manual on anything - especially being a great mom, I'd be the first in line. And then I'd tell her how much I love her writing and how much Otto reminds me of Big Love and how so much of her 'crazy' I can completely relate to. But I'd probably annoy her and she'd put a restraining order on me and then I'd desperately try to convince her that I'm not a psycho, I just don't have a lot of friends who get me where I live and in my dreams I will move somewhere and find a friend who is all kinds of awesome just like her.

But if I throw myself back to reality, I'll just keep reading her blog, and gleaning from it the wisdom that I so often find. Especially when she writes stuff like this with a Norman Rockwell reference that is absolutely spot on. Even Big Love thinks so.

And now back to my amazingly happy baby who had a brilliant sleep last night and a great nap this morning and is now nothing but a ball of "how the hell did I get so lucky for this Little Man to be my son"!

the great lesson ... is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbors, friends, and family, in one's backyards.

- Abraham Maslow

This is where I saw the above quote and it seems to align with so much of what I'm trying to work through. And now back to family - because my mom and step-dad are here. Contrary to most of the latest visits, I don't want to kill my mother yet!

Stickin' like glue

A few days ago I read this post from the Pioneer Woman and no matter what I do, I can not get one of the letters she featured in it out of my thoughts. Written two or three generations ago, a father writing to his daughter advice that is universal. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

"We're all placed here to do something. It is for us and not for others to find out what that something is, and there with all the energy of which we are capable, honestly and prayerfully to be gone about our business."

And then this morning on FB I read something in a status that is also not going anywhere.

An old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between the two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth."

The boy thought about it and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?"

The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed."

Both of these seem to be sticking to my innerds like glue. Quietly working their way through my mind, my heart and anywhere else that needs it.

Of course the day after I am crying and screaming inside about how I feel completely bizarre about how my body looks to me in our family portraits, I read someone's post about trying to present a good model for her child! Hopefully I, too, will learn to give myself a break.

I'm lucky because this time around, I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight already. That is, my second pregnancy, as I never did get back to where I was before Sweet One was born because I no longer had time to work out 1.5 hours a day, 5 days a week. I do strongly attribute my weight loss this time around to how active I was with this past pregnancy. I did a challenging work out two to three times a week for most of the pregnancy, only stopping in the last few weeks or so because I felt very uncomfortable for the day after doing it. (This workout had me sweating, grunting and building a lot of muscle safely!) I also had two yoga videos that I did in the evening up until two nights before Little Man was cut out.

Wardrobe worries

It is 11:39am and I am still needing to get myself dressed. My daughter is napping (she's been whiny for the first time ever today!), the main floor is vacuumed and the kitchen floor is washed and so it's not like I've been lazing around.

I hate trying to figure out what to wear these days. I look in my drawers and closet and if it isn't too big it is frumpy, or poor quality. I absolutely hate it! With the fall season approaching I am in need of new shirts because the milk factory won't fit into my pre-pregnancy shirts and I've got another 4 months to go. (I was a lot smaller then than I thought.) Shopping doesn't exactly inspire happy thoughts for me, either. I find it impossible to find affordable clothes that are a decent quality and make me feel like me. (After our recent investment at the vet, I'm not too excited about spending money in general.) Maybe Stacy and Clinton will be at my door the next time the doorbell rings!

When I was trying to think of all the things that pregnancy and having a new baby would entail, I don't think I imagined just how much money would be needed for buying clothes at all the postpartum stages.

***

2:44pm. It's Big Love's day off and so he took Sweet One for a walk while I napped. She loves the Snugli! She has her hat and sunglasses on it and all you can hear is brrrrr, yayayay, yaaaaaaa. I've had people smiling from across the street because they can hear her and today a woman stopped her car to tell Big Love how cute she is! She's sleeping again - so tired today. I'm having some quiet time and so I went to The Basement which I think is an amazing place for women to put stuff out there. I only learned about it in the past week or so. After reading the most recent post, one that I can relate to in terms of cold turkey off of antidepressants, I feel like a complete asshole for being so upset because I feel ugly everyday!