Hide and Seek

Sweet One loves playing Hide and Seek with her Daddy these days. It doesn't even matter if she can see him sticking out from his place because we don't have that many places to hide, she thinks it is the greatest. Big Love will put his index finger on his mouth, "Hmmmm" and Sweet One will copy as he's finding a place to hide. If he forgets the 'thought process' she reminds him and does it until he remembers! Me? I'm sitting on the couch, eating my bowl of regular oatmeal and freshly ground flax seeds, thoroughly enjoying how much they like to play together. (And secretly happy it isn't me trying to get into places because I'm losing my ability to be graceful getting up and down.)

If I were a cupcake, I'd taste gross while trying to cover it all up with some cream cheese frosting

For the past few months I have been absolutely lacking in any desire for making suppers. No adventure to try new recipes and often end up scrambling to throw something together at the last minute. Or I end up making a recipe and make do without some of the ingredients. All this leaves me a little bitter that I am always having to think of supper and plan it - but really, when I express myself regarding this I seem to be kept company by the proverbial tree in the woods. I guess I can thank my MIL for never teaching her sons to cook and accepting their complete absence in the kitchen while they grew up. Big Love will help if I ask and once in awhile even asks if I need help. What I want is to have it all taken care of so I don't even have to waste any energy planning it. Just as it does for Big Love pretty much every day, I want supper to miraculously appear in front of me. Luckily, the man does do dishes and I think if he didn't, I'd lose my mind.

So to distract myself I try to focus on some of the entertaining things going on here. My primary doctor is a DO and so today I went to him for an adjustment. The appointment started out:

Do you have an equivalent to Thanksgiving in Canada?

Yeah, it's in October.

What do you call it?

Thanksgiving.

He started to laugh his head off and the rest of the appointment seemed to go like that as if moved from me explaining why I think it is insane to have more than two kids, to having my OB offer to tie my tubes during my cesarean, to him telling me all the times I can go and watch his eldest daughter in a production of The Nutcracker where she will dance as a present.

While it can be very exhausting, from about 4:30 on for the past three days, Sweet One has been very clear that I am the only one allowed to do anything for her from washing her hands after supper to giving her her blueberries. She seems to need a chunk of time where we are attached for up to half an hour. The end of day comes when we are in her bedroom ready to read a book and she looks at her Dad and says, "Bye" clearly telling him that he is no longer in her room as the two of us begin to read stories. I do feel bad for Big Love and the small amount of rejection he sometimes feels when he is told in many little ways that he just doesn't cut it! Then again, they are both currently inside of her fire truck playing so maybe she does like him after all. (She does answer "yeah" when I ask her if she loves her Daddy.)

Lonely Ladybug

A few weeks ago I got a costume made for Sweet One and, thinking it was pretty cute, in my head I anticipated a lovely Thursday evening of Trick-or-Treating with her for the first time. (This town does things weird with the Trick-or-Treating happening on the Thursday before Halloween so that teachers don't have to deal with the kids on 'sugar highs'.) Things don't always work out as we plan when we're parents and this was definitely one of those. The moment I tried to put it on Sweet One, she hit the floor in a tantrum! I did manage to get the wings on her red jacket and so Big Love spent about half an hour taking her to a few houses. The best part was watching her run away from a house as quickly as she could so that she could follow her friends! I just chuckled as I handed out candy to those who stopped by!

So my costume may have to wait another year or perhaps it will always be the lonely ladybug who hoped to be someone's first Halloween costume.

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On another note, the netbook seems to have survived the flood! I am so relieved.

Yesterday afternoon as Sweet One was walking up and down the sidewalk in front of our house, I noticed Big Love making his way to us. I didn't expect to see him so early but it was a nice surprise. He was halfway down the block and I said to Sweet One, "Who's there?" She let out a squeal as a smile covered her face. She ran (or as close as she can come to running) down the block towards her Dad. He squatted down, opened up his arms and as she was about to run into them, she swerved and kept on going down the sidewalk!

A little girl and her Dada

We have this funny little landing that is the midpoint of our staircase. At one point there was probably another staircase that lead directly to the kitchen but in a renovation it got closed out. We never knew what to do with it because it is quite useless. Perhaps closing it off into a closet would be nice.

Sweet One seems to have her own ideas of what to do with this space - it is the place for her blocks. She loves climbing up there and playing with them. She and her Dad have spent a lot of time there together.

Lately I've been marveling at the relationship that is growing between Big Love and Sweet One. He will sit and play with her, completely focussed on their play, until Sweet One's attention gets diverted. The other day they spent 45 minutes stacking the blocks and then knocking them down. I really don't think that I could do that! Sweet One knows he is home from work when she hears the outside door creak. Today as she sat in her chair eating supper, she looked at me with excitement and said, "Dada!" (This is the first time I heard her directly connect those syllables with him.) Other days she will be standing , a book in hand, eagerly waiting for him to come through the inside door. As she holds it up to him, Big Love immediately drops to his knees and opens the book, leaving his coat lying on the floor. Nothing is more important to him than this time with her.

Big Love is the father I always dreamed my child would have. His love is gentle and steadfast. I know that without judgement or belittling, he will always be there to hear what she has to say and to help her figure things out. His support will help her gain confidence in who she is. And all because they took the time to find a little space to play together.