No more soother tonight, Sweet One

My legs were aching, my back hurt and tears were leaking out of my eyes as I silently cried with her.

Before she was even born I hoped that Sweet One would not be a baby who loved her soother but babies quickly make liars out of us and it wasn't long before she'd crawl across the floor to get one she saw. So much of the literature out there talks about how babies will get used to sleeping with the soother and be unable to sleep through the night without it.

Over the past week her multiple wakings during the night were no longer as much for food as they were for her soother. Her nap length, rubbing her eyes and yawning for most of the day were all things the professionals say are because of soother-dependency. I knew I'd have to wean her from it but I really didn't want to. There have been a number of times where I suddenly realized that it was time for changes. With this, it was time after I had walked into her room a fourth or fifth time to give her back the soother she tossed out of bed to get my attention. I had a rough day personally and didn't want them to be a regular occurrence. Something needed to change because I was barely hanging on.

Weaning was necessary. By wean I mean go cold turkey. Not fun by any means. She screamed and I leaned over the crib railing to rub her back. It felt like hours even though it was only 15 minutes or so. I was ignoring the pain in my body because it was nothing near the frustration that Sweet One was voicing after having her best friend taken from her. I cried because I felt like I was doing it to her. After all, I let her have the soother as much as she wanted. I continually gave it back to her in the early months to help her keep sleeping.

I'm lucky. For the most part, Sweet One falls into the category of an easy baby. By this I mean it usually takes only 3-5 days for her to adapt to new changes in her life. One night done, two to go. And hopefully she won't send me the therapist's bill twenty years from now.