I stopped "should"-ing on myself and it feels great!

Yesterday I hit my wall. I spent my spare time working on a blazer made from sweatshirt fleece that I had wanted to get done (McCalls 5714) but it was turning out as if Sweet One had helped me with it. Since moving to this town I've lost my avenues of creative expression. Since it is hard to find time to get out of town for shopping when I need them, I've had high hopes that I could improve my sewing skills to enhance my wardrobe in a way that helps me express myself without breaking the bank. A double bonus would be the creativity it takes just to make the pieces. So far I have failed miserably. Last summer I made a shirt and a pair of shorts which are both unwearable. I really have no clue if this blazer is going to be salvageable. I was very upset by the time I was done sewing yesterday. I packed up my machine. Maybe I need a good book to teach me more about garment sewing. I know I need more time and patience with myself than I have.

I started feeling sick right around supper time last night. Funny that it should line up with hitting the wall! I had been feeling so stressed over the past few days worrying about what I wasn't getting done and how much time I wasn't focussing on Sweet One. All of this was simply not a good combination with less than two weeks before this baby is cut out of me.

I made a decision. Since I got all but the finishing done on the sweater last night, it was time to stop worrying. To give myself as much time to rest as I could and to enjoy the last few days I have with only one child. The house needs a bit more cleaning so that I can feel like I haven't left stupid things all over the place and other than that, I am not taking on anything else that isn't every day necessities. Yesterday around 6:30 I was crying on the couch, snuggling with Sweet One as she watched Super Why? on the computer. At the same time today I was lying on the floor playing with Sweet One. I laughed at how my brain had so much positive energy that I could go for a walk but the muscles in my back were screaming at me to just relax. Quite a difference and all because I decided to let go of a few "shouldas".