Awakenings

When my daughter was little I knew how lucky I was that for the majority of our nights the feedings were often 4 hours apart. What made it so that she would sleep so well, I'm not exactly sure. It did take some time for her to get to sleep, but at least I was usually only awake for up to an hour at a time.

Last night was the third night where I was constantly reminding myself of how lucky I was with Sweet One. I started waking up at 12:20, Sweet One woke up at 12:40 and then Little Man woke up at 1:10. I fed him, he looked around. He was completely mesmerized by the shadows on the wall that the 15 watt lightbulb makes in my bedside light. It wasn't until 3:30 that I finally got back to sleep. But he was hungry again at 5:10 and then I had to wake him up around 8:30 since it was 'daytime' and I don't want him to go too long between feedings during the day.

I don't really know how I survive this. I guess we all do. Big Love goes back to work tomorrow and I will be eternally grateful that he doesn't have a job where he needs to be there by 8 until 5 or 6. It will be a back and forth day with choir rehearsal in the evening so I will also do bedtime solo for the first time. Again, another situation where I know I will be fine once I'm in the middle of it all but right now it makes my post-partum anxiety jump up higher than I like.